Why Kindergartners are some of the bravest people I know

For the first time in...well...EVER, I feel incredibly sorry for Kindergartners.  Up until this point in my life, I thought Kindergartners just got to play with playdough, color (with crayons, of course), have stories read TO them, play on the playground and check out picture books from the library.  

But do you know what else they have to do?  They have to make friends.  And ya'll.  Making friends is NO JOKE.

I don't ever remember having to "make friends."  In grade school, it just happens.  You naturally become friends with the people who are sitting next to you in your seating assignment because if you forget a #2 pencil, they might be your only lifeline.  It's nearly effortless.  

By the time you reach Middle School and High School, you have established your "friend group" and you're settled.  If you were like me, sports teammates became your new friend group out of necessity.  We had each other's backs.  We laughed together, ate meals together, celebrated wins, learned from losses, ran lines together and just did a whole lot of life together.  But still, those friendships "just happened."

And my goodness.  Then you get to college where everything is about "community" - especially at a private Christian school.  You are invited to Hall Dinner every week, you have a roommate, there are endless activities and clubs to be a part of.  You have people incessantly asking to meet for lunch, coffee, a walk, a hike and it takes EFFORT to get any time ALONE.  Never again will you be in an environment so intentional about creating lasting friendships.  Savor.  every.  moment.  I walked away from college with three of my closest friends.  College rocks for making friendships because, well, the path is laid out for you.

Well guess what?  After college there ain't nobody who's forcing you to make friends.  No one's soliciting you for "one-on-one's" or coffee dates.  Hall Dinners are a thing of the past and the only sports teams you're a part of are comprised of a whole bunch of adults who also have a really busy life.  

You know what I've discovered?  We aren't made to do life alone.  We can't.  God created us for relationship.  He created us to be "us" - together.  I'm finding that making friends is hard work.  It takes a willingness to have those awkward first hangouts where you're asking questions like "Where did you grow up?" and "What are your favorite things to do on the weekends?"  It takes a willingness to put yourself out there and allow others to take it or leave it.  And you know what?  Sometimes they leave it.  And it's ok if they do.  

We have been living in Salem for 2.5 months.  I miss my friends at home.  I miss hanging out with girls who have known me forever and who I have known forever.  I miss not having to explain family dynamics and my sense of humor.  I miss the comfort that comes from knowing and being known.  

BUT...learning to make friends has brought me to a place of being more sensitive to those who have no friends.  I am learning to see those who are lonely and hurting.  I have learned to open my eyes to those who need human touch and those who stand on the outside just waiting for someone to invite them in.  

I've found that being on the outside isn't always a bad thing.  

Because there are a lot of people on the outside.  Which means that I'm not alone.