From my ever-so-naiive newlywed heart to yours, can I have your attention for just a few short minutes? First, let me soothe your mind so that you might actually listen. Yes, I realize that we got married young. Yes, I am fully aware that we “have the rest of our lives to be married”. Yes, I know that we have chosen a road less traveled.
Now that that’s out of the way, let’s chat.
To the woman who I ran into at the store: It really hurt my soul when you reacted with utter disdain when you found out that we decided to get married young. I saw the look on your face. I saw the way your posture changed from being engaged to being disgusted. I saw your arms lose their softness and cross in front of you. I saw it. And I didn’t say anything. Instead I listened.
To the man who I ran into a few afternoons ago: My heart is saddened that you are so sure that our marriage is going to fail. I grieve the fact that you are so sure that the things we find “cute” now are soon to turn to annoyances that make us grit our teeth. Maybe you’re right, but why oh why is it necessary to forecast that in our marriage just 8 short weeks in? These 8 short weeks have been bliss. And we are so thankful. And we are looking forward to another 8 weeks. 8 years. 8 decades.
To the couple who couldn’t help but offer advice: Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for caring about our marriage enough to speak. I am so glad that waiting 5 years to have kids worked well for you. I really am. But I am not convinced that it will “wreck our relationship” if that happens sooner. My heart was saddened that you see children as such a burden that you must warn us against them. Children-in God's time, no matter when that is-are a blessing.
To all of you: Marriage is a blessing. It one of life’s greatest blessings. It is a time to lean on the Lord for direction, wisdom, counsel and comfort. It is a time to lean on each other and weather the storms of life together. It is a time to rejoice together. It is community like nothing else on this earth. And we are blessed to get to take part in it at a young age, with Nathan still in school and trusting the Lord for our provision. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Can you do me a favor? Never, ever condemn someone’s marriage before it really ever starts. Instead, choose to bless it. Choose to rejoice with others in their joys. And then, when the tough times come (see, I know they will come), then and ONLY then, grieve and offer wise counsel. We will gladly accept it.
We are not crazy…or maybe we are…but this is the path God has chosen for us. And so we will walk in it. Will you walk with us? We sure would love the company.
Sincerely,
Mr. & Mrs. Burres
Amen, dear girl! You're right on! :) Keep living a crazy life, keep choosing the hard path because it's right, and choose to buck the system of complacency, self-centeredness, and instant gratification. We were given a similar negative forecast on our honeymoon, and for many couples, that is indeed how it goes. For many, the first year IS the hardest, but it does NOT have to be! May your honeymoon last for 8 decades :) Love you guys!!
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